Monday, May 12, 2008

thoughts and hopes and futures

Tomorrow I will wake alone, sleep in late.  My eyes will hover between my mind's ever-flowing imagination and the brick wall of reality that is my bed and my room and my house and my life that I have created for myself.  Perhaps the wall is made of straw today, or maybe concrete.  But I will hide behind this shield so secure, never climbing over, never kicking down or making a mark on its surface.  Never yet.  I back away from the wall, creating an uncalming distance between my enemy and I.  I forget the pretty and act only on the determination looming so heavy in my mind.  I look behind me one last time.  It is fading fading blurry mess I want to get away.  I turn my eyes ahead of me.  I run.  Forward.  These speeds are unknown to my delicate body.  The wall grows and grows, not wanting me to pass, wanting me to remain still and safe I ignore it.  A bruise becomes of my body as I climb and punch and scream into the silence.  I am afraid but it does not matter.  The hope I feel overtakes the fear and the pain, overtakes everything.  Will you be waiting on the other side of your wall?

3 comments:

Doug said...

I don't know what you did, but your writing is so beautiful these days. The thoughts you're putting out here are just...perfect and complete. Also, they're really enjoyable to read. It's the type of thing I just always want to read.

Your self is beautiful, Carlsbad.

Doug said...

Oh and where did Mathematica go? I wanted to comment on its beauty too. I saved a copy for you just in case :)

littleflecks said...

Thanks, Doug :) Comments like these make me want to keep writing.

Also, I posted Mathematica but then took it down because I didn't like it. Apparently you got a special glimpse into my deleted thoughts. Either way, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.