Sometimes I cry for no reason at all. At least I don't think there is a reason. Maybe there is and I just don't know it. I may not be looking as deep as my tears are. It's weird how things seem to connect. Like right now, I'm listening to a song ("I want you to want me", if you're curious) and the lyrics feature the words "crying." I heard these lyrics after I typed those last couple of sentences.
I should probably be sleeping. But if I was sleeping, these words may have never existed and you would be doing some other that reading them. What would you be doing right now if you weren't reading these words? Do you regret not doing this? I know that I don't regret you not doing this. Does that make it better?
I have heard people say they are busy so many times. I don't really feel that I am that busy all the time. I don't think they are either, but I would never tell them that. I guess busy is just when you have plans. No one has plans 24/7. People have to sleep. I guess sleeping is planned, kind of, but I'm not sure if sleeping is being busy. Sometimes people will say that they are too busy to sleep. I say I am too busy sleeping to be busy.
I could be happy right now. I could also be sad. Or angry, or lazy. I haven't quite figured out if I determine this or if other people, things and events make this decision for me. It is probably a combination of myself and the outside world. I want the outside world in my life. I think these external factors cause more extreme moods and change my mood quicker than if I change my way of thinking.
Sometimes I wish my imagination was my real life.
My mom told me yesterday that my first grade teacher gave me bigger parts in all of our little class plays just to make me talk. She knew I was quiet and tried to break me from my shell. I was baby bear once. I got to wear the costume and everything. She was one of my favorite teachers.
Now it is my time to connect all of these thoughts. This was not my original purpose, but it is now my pursuit. Here goes. Too much work makes me a busy person who needs sleep. All of this work makes me overwhelmed and I cry just because. I imagine I do not feel like this and all is happy. And the last part about baby bear was just a bonus. Bah, so much about me. What about you? And that guy whose name you forgot who you see every once in awhile? Or even the things and ideas that don't have names. They deserve more attention. Open eyes and open hearts. This is how life should be.